Love Yourself
by DarkColdSummer
Summary: Percy hasn't been feeling too good lately and Thalia and Nico want to help./Rated T for suicide, depression and self-harm
1. Percy l 01

I can't sleep anymore, I'm an insomniac. I want to sleep so badly though. My eyelids are slipping, they want to close. My eyes are red from opening them for so long. The bags under my eyes won't go away. I close my eyes, but sleep never arrives.

Why can't I sleep? Without sleep, I'm _weak_.

 **I'm just weak.**

* * *

I'm not hungry. I haven't eaten dinner in three months. I haven't eaten lunch in even longer. I'm quite literally living off breakfast. It's so much, but so as to not worry my friends, I eat it all.

I feel fat. What am I supposed to do with all that extra substance in my stomach? They're just making me fatter.

I find myself next to a toilet bowl, my fingers shoved down my throat. I'm puking up the food in my stomach. I'm still _fat_ , but baby steps.

 **Baby steps.**

* * *

I feel empty. I'm so tired. I'm not that much of an insomniac anymore, more of a hypersomniac. I sleep so much, yet I still feel tired. Why don't I feel energy anymore?

I'm never happy, all my smiles are fake. Why can't anyone see through my poorly fitted facade? I'm not calling, I'm screaming for help. I know something's happening to me and I need help.

I need help but I can't ask for it by myself, I have to wait for others to offer me help. I'm a _wimp_ , that's all I am.

 **Such a wimp.**

* * *

I can't concentrate, my sword fighting abilities are slipping. I'm making so many careless mistakes it's not funny. Everyone keeps asking me to stop slacking off, to start focusing and to not be such a pain in the ass. They don't understand. They don't and will never. Why though? Why can't I just do things right for once? Is it just me?

Maybe what they say is true. I'm just _a_ _pain_ , _a_ _slacker_ , _lazy_ and _can't do anything right._ I'm _nothing, nothing at all._

 **Nothing, nothing at all.**

* * *

I'm so tired, everything is so tiring. I just want to close my eyes and sleep. Then I just have to hope I'll never wake up.

Please don't wake me up.

 **Please don't.**

* * *

Today, Jason asked me what was wrong with me. He said I'd been spending less time with him and the rest of our friends and seemed more out of it. He said that my cabin was giving off more depressing vibes. I faked a smile and answered that I was fine. He nodded and accepted it.

He didn't really notice what's in my cabin, did he? If he really did, he'd notice that I have a poster on an alternate meaning for "fine", or what the word "fine" hides. He doesn't know, he doesn't understand, he's just faking that concern.

I say _I'm fine, but_ _I'm really not_.

 **I'm not.**

* * *

The shadows are my new best friends, though my descent is just not that. I'm not Nico. Shadows… They don't judge me and they help me hide from others. It hurts though because no one notices me much anymore. When they do, it's always to snap at me, to chew me out for something I've not done wrong. Why?

I'm not sure, but I _can't be bothered_ to find out.

 **Lazy.**

* * *

I can't help but feel angry when I see people happy. Why do they get their happy endings, but not me? Why can't I get my happy ending? Annabeth and I broke up, and now she's with Piper, who broke up with Jason. But Jason's fine, he's perfectly fine. How? How does he manage that when I only just became more of a wreck?

I see green. Maybe it's jealousy? Why am I jealous anyway? I got what I deserved. I killed and harmed so many its only right I get what I deserve, the _Arai_ taught me that.

I _have no right._

 **What goes around comes around.**

-.-.-.-

People aren't nice. My friends, they don't notice, but sometimes their words stab at my heart. It's fine when other strangers curse at me. They sting slightly, but they don't know me, so it's fine. When my friends call me an idiot jokingly though, it hurts like a stab in the back.

Today, Mom- no... Mother -told me to start doing my work. She doesn't understand, I'm trying, I'm trying my very best. Why doesn't she understand? I'm her son, and after all, she's known me for seventeen years. She called me lazy. It hurt.

Is this what betrayal feels like? Maybe that's all I am. _Stupid_ and _lazy_.

 **Unhelpful.**

* * *

I don't want to eat. Why can't they understand? I'm just not hungry.

No. Don't drag me to Dining Hall! I'm not hungry and I'm not going to eat, why can't you recognise that?!

I get it, it's not healthy. Who said any of this locking myself in my room thing is healthy either? I'm sorry but I'm not hungry.

No... I'm not an _attention seeker_... I think... Could you let me return to my room?

 **Attention whore.**

* * *

The insomnia is back. The sleeplessness, the nights spent staring at the ceiling. It's restarting again. It stopped for a while, the insomnia, but it's back now. Why now of all times? The Fates hate me, don't they?

I can't stand the sleeplessness.

Sleeping pills it is then. Sleeping pills to force me to sleep.

One pill. Two pills. Three. Four. Five.

The sleeplessness finally stops, I slip into a forced sleep. Did I take _too many pills_ though? No, right?

 **It's just barely enough.**

* * *

The thoughts in my head are dark. They aren't suffocating or killing me, they're helping me. They help me weave an imaginary world where life for everyone else is so much better without me.

It's beautiful when I'm not around. Wouldn't it be so much better if I really wasn't? I'm just a _waste of air._

 **Waste.**

* * *

Stop it! Stop it! Stop trying to control me! I can't be restrained so just stop trying. The sea doesn't like to be restrained.

I'm perfectly fine, why are you dragging me to the infirmary? Others need more help than I do, let them have the attention instead! They need it!

What?! No! I am not depressed! I'm just sad! And empty! And angry! And...

I'm _depressed_ , aren't I? I'm going _crazy_ , aren't I?

 **I'm not me anymore.**

* * *

There's a girl in front of me. I don't know her, I've never seen her before but she says she knows me. Her name is Night.

She has raven black long hair and beautiful sea green eyes. Her pale skin brings out her features. She dresses in a midnight black dress with green sparkles. She's beautiful and everything I ever wanted to be but can't ever be. She's the perfect female version of me, the me I can never be.

She knows my deepest darkest secrets, my every action, my greatest fears. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's me.

She makes me feel _inferior_ , but I deserve it.

 **I deserve it all.**

* * *

I'm angry. Why am I so angry? I don't even know this person! He's just a random guy -not even a demigod- who lives in New York! He just bumped into me! That's not much to freak out over, especially since it's normal for a New Yorker to bump into others passers-by!

Nothing makes sense anymore.

All I know is that he bumped into me. Then... Then what? I got mad right? No, fuming. I saw red. I lashed out at him. I'm seventeen and I scared the poor forty plus year old man into sobs. Am I really that bad when I'm mad?

I'm normally much calmer than this, _what is wrong with me?_

 **Everything is wrong with me.**

* * *

There are streaks of blood on the floor in front of me, there's a blade in my hand. My pallor is gaunt and pale, the colour leaving me through the bleeding cuts on my wrists.

Please, I know what I'm doing is wrong, but it's my only way to cope.

I dig the blade into my wrist again, dragging it roughly across my wrist. Crimson red blood flows out of the wound. I sigh in relief.

I know it's wrong, but I don't ever want to stop. I want the blood to keep flowing, I want the pain to keep striking, I want it all to never end. Never ever ever ever ever. Well, other than the other way... Death...

I won't kill myself, cutting myself is just my way of coping. I can't die, I'm still needed by my friends, by the two camps, by Olympus...

I _need the pain_ though.

 **It's my new lifeline.**

* * *

Flowers die and bloom again. Leaves fall but grow again. The Sun sets but rises again. I can't.

I'm a flower that's forever wilted, a leaf that is forever fallen, a sun that is forever gone from the horizon.

I'm not me anymore, somebody please save me from _this hell we call life_.

 **A hell, that's what we live in.**

* * *

Smile and smile and smile and _fake_.

Grin and grin and grin and _fake_.

Laugh and laugh and laugh and _fake_.

Live and live and live and _fake_.

I'm not living, I'm just a shell of who I used to be. Every day is sucking out more and more of my irreplaceable energy supply, is draining me of my will to live.

I'm not Percy anymore, I'm just a shell.

A shell who _wants to go to the Underworld_.

 **I just want to die.**

* * *

Nico and Thalia have been hurt to near death, put into a coma. The people closest I have to a family on this side of a family, yet all I feel is a twinge of pain in my heart, nothing more nothing less.

Why can't I feel anything?

I'm just purely _heartless_.

 **A heartless bastard, that is.**

* * *

The white floor is stained with red, the knives just won't stay sharp enough. Why…? Why can't they just stay sharp. I know its wrong, I know its not right, but I need it. My left arm is entirely numb, from all the cuts and loss of blood over the past month. My left arm is weak, but I've moved on to my right arm.

There are so many cuts. Heh. I counted… I think… There are roughly over three quarters of a hundred just purely on my left arm. So much blood loss…

I deserve the pain. Its a reflection of all that I've inflicted on others. I've inflicted so much pain on others, does that make me a _bad person_?

 **Yes, because I am one.**

* * *

I've been cutting for slightly over three months. I've moved on from my wrists and arms though. My thighs work, so do my hips and my stomach area. More scars… So many… At least ten a day and over a rough amount of a hundred days…

 _It disgusted me_ that I wasn't at all the slightest bit freaked out over the blood and cuts.

 **Because I'm disgusting.**

* * *

 **Word Count: 1871 words**

* * *

 _(A/N: Hey~ One last thing before I fly. *sighs* I hate flying. *coughs* We-ell, besides the point, I've been in a depressing mood lately, so here's the first chapter of my next story. Its going to be short and quite trigger-filled in the beginning. And well... as I've said, I've been in a depressed and bitchy mood lately. So, excuse you if you want to review and rant about how dark my stories are. Read my fucking profile and see for yourself. Fuck that, read my username. DARK. COLD. SUMMER. Note: DARK and COLD. Which describes my fucking stories. I will laugh at the irony. A daughter of Hades who has a dark personality and a nickname of Summer. Ha._

 _... Sorry, I had to get that out there. I apologise for the cursing, but I do not regret my words._

 _Peace out!  
Summer) _


	2. Nico l 02

"Ugh," I muttered in frustration as I woke up to a painfully throbbing head. Pushing myself into a sitting position didn't help much either. "Stupid head. Stupid pain. Stupid world."

"Agreed," another more feminine voice groaned from next to me.

"Thalia?" And indeed, it was the daughter of Zeus and Lieutenant of the Hunters of Artemis seated in the infirmary cot next to me.

I smiled at her and tried to recollect what had happened.

We were trying to talk some sense into Percy, as his closest unofficial family, in the forest. Then... there was... a flash of black and pain? Forest? Bad idea come to think of it...

"You were attacked by a hellhound, Nico, Thalia," a cheerful voice answered our unspoken confusion.

"Is Percy okay?" I asked anxiously.

Will looked away and answered. "Percy brought you here. Poor guy wouldn't leave your sides for the first month. Not for food or sleep..."

"First month?" Thalia startled. "How long have we been out then?"

"Uh..." Will trailed off. "Three months. We were starting to think you wouldn't wake from the coma. Who knew hellhounds could do such heavy damage?"

"You didn't answer. Is Percy okay?" I insisted.

"I don't know," Will said regretfully. "For the past two months, I have yet to see him entirely."

"That means he's not okay," Thalia muttered.

He probably locked himself inside his cabin again, were the unspoken words that hung between the two of us.

"Besides the point," Will interrupted our thoughts. "Your other friends want to see you know. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"Stay put and wait here. I'll get them here," Will ordered and left. "Don't leave or use your powers."

I pushed my legs off the side of the cot instead, Thalia doing the same.

I got up, put pressure on my legs... and stumbled, barely avoiding face planting on the ground. Thalia would have never let me live this down... if she hadn't actually face planted the ground.

"Not a word about this, di Angelo," she hissed at me, helping herself up while I attempted (and failed) to stifle my laughter.

I nodded, personally just spending the time getting used to the weight on my legs after a quarter of a year of disuse.

We walked out together, each supporting the either. It was in the middle of lunch, so I decided to play a little game. Game? Prank? Same thing.

I shadow travelled our unsteady selves behind the table where most of our friends sat by. Chiron abolished the rule to sit only with your cabin mates. It was a pointless rule anyway.

"Guess who's back and kicking, bitches?" Thalia slurred a little dizzily from the shadow travel and face planting. I held my arm out to steady her. I am definitely never shadow traveling Thalia when she's in a state like this again.

"Thals! Neeks!" Jason exclaimed, rushing over and embracing us, the others echoing his exclamations.

"Are you alright?" Reyna asked, looking over us critically.

"Thalia Grace! Nico di Angelo!" Will interrupted Reyna and yelled, stomping over to us. "What did I say not to do?"

"Uh... Not to leave the infirmary or use our powers?" I answered weakly.

"Yes, and what did you do?" Will demanded.

"Leave the infirmary and use our powers," I answered sheepishly, looking at the ground.

"I give up," he sighed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Go do what you want, just no overexertion."

"Yes sir," Thalia mocked and I imitated her.

Everyone rolled their eyes at our immaturity since we are technically the oldest two (but definitely not the most mature, as you can probably tell).

Will left and Thalia turned to ask the others, "How's Percy?"

They all shared an uncomfortable glance. "Knew it," I sighed. "He locked himself in inside his cabin again."

"No-o, Nico..." Annabeth spoke up slowly. "We haven't found him for two months. He's most definitely not in his cabin and trust me, we would know if he'd been there all along. We have no idea how to track him down."

"Not even Iris messages have reached him?" I asked after pondering for a while.

They exchanged glances. "We did not think of that..." Piper said. "We could try it."

Thalia rolled her eyes. "Of course we could try it."

We went to the fountain in the Poseidon cabin, knowing Poseidon was one god that wouldn't blast us for going into his cabin without prior permission, and found a rainbow.

"Oh Fleecy, do me a solid. Show us Percy Jackson, on planet Earth," Frank offered, throwing a drachma into the rainbow.

"Fleecy? On planet Earth? Seriously? Are you sure it'll work?" Leo questioned incredulously.

Frank gave him a grin and shared a look with Hazel.

An image formed in the rainbow. Percy was lying in bed, face buried in his pillows. We could make out Percy's room in Sally's apartment in the background.

"You mean to say you didn't check Sally's apartment?" Thalia asked, eyebrows furrowed as Frank swiped the message.

"...Maybe?" Annabeth flushed.

Thalia sighed in exasperation and I buried my head in my hands.

"And these are my friends. Absolute idiots, they are..." I muttered to myself.

Thalia heard and laughed. "Its alright. They are our friends after all. Why don't we go now?"

So we all got into the car and drove off together towards New York, or more specifically, Sally's apartment.

* * *

"We'll be back later," I promised the other demigods. "Just come back in like an hour or so."

Thalia and I headed up the stairs.

"Sally! Paul!" Thalia called as we knocked on the apartment doors.

A face peered open through a crack in the door, then it flung open and we were embraced in a tight hug.

"Thank the gods you're alright," Sally breathed, then let go of the hug. "Come in!"

We entered the apartment and settled down.

"Wait till Percy hears of the good news!" Sally grinned. "When he received the news that you two were unlikely to make it, he shut himself inside his room for days. But now you're back and everything can get better!"

"Can we see Percy?" I asked, flashing back to before the hellhound attack when he was practically detached from the world and ignoring the part when she said we probably wouldn't make it.

"We should talk first, I need to tell you something," Sally said urgently.

"We need to tell Percy the news first," I said firmly.

"We'll talk to you later," Thalia called as we headed to Percy's room.

Anyone who listened closely would notice the "this is not going to be good" coming from behind us.

* * *

"Perseus Jackson," Thalia called from next to me the moment we entered the room.

Percy was lying face up, playing with water using his powers, making intricately detailed shapes.

"I could have sworn up and down Night and mom made me take my meds," Percy muttered out loud, looking up from playing with water, and sat up and turned around to match our glares at him evenly.

I furrowed my eyebrows in worry.

"Meds?" Thalia asked aloud.

"Night?" I asked. "That sounds like something I would come up with."

"I'm pretty sure hallucinations are supposed to know everything," Percy thought out loud, flopping back onto his bed face-first.

I was going to say something, but Percy continued.

"I know what you're here for, so do it. I don't think the real Nico and Thalia would like me resorting to the alternative, as much as I like it."

"What are we here for, then?" I challenged.

"Wouldn't you know..." Percy muttered, turning to stare at the ceiling. "The usual, isn't it? Just peer into my brain and at the darkest secrets and crevices of it, play at my fears and insecurities..."

He continued, but Thalia and I exchanged glances.

"Just start," Percy sighed in resignation. "You know you want to."

"What if we don't?" I asked softly, glancing down and shuffling my feet.

"Then I'd say to stop playing with my feelings, bringing my hopes up and tearing them down," Percy sighed, sitting up and staring out the window, basically the opposite direction of us. "Just go away, hallucination-Nico and hallucination-Thalia."

"Nope. Firstly, we aren't hallucinations and secondly, why would we listen to you when you're in this state? You so obviously need company," Thalia insisted stubbornly, sparking him a little.

"Just go away. You do that all the time its not even shocking anymore," Percy muttered in frustration.

We stayed.

"You're not gonna leave or try to bring me down just yet, are you?" Percy muttered.

We added tones of agreement.

"Fi-ine. I'm sorry Thals, Neeks..." Percy murmured. "Shut up Night. ...Anyone ever told you you're a bitch?"

Out of his pocket, Percy produced a sharp silver thing; a pocket knife made of a mortal metal; steel.

"Percy. What are you doing?" I asked anxiously, eyes darting around.

"Getting rid of you hallucinations," Percy muttered, placing the blade on his wrist. "Why? Don't want to be forced away?"

"Put that down right now, Jackson!" Thalia exclaimed.

"Nope," came Percy's reply.

He placed pressure on his wrist and his skin broke, crimson blood leaking out of the open wound. I flinched a little, feeling a little bit of the life drain out of him. Was this what Sally was trying to warn us about? Or was it hallucinations? Whatever it was, we probably should have listened to her.

"Are you done?" Thalia asked shakily as we watched Percy tear at his skin over and over again, producing streaks of red. Anyone who looked closely would be able to see the faint white lines along both his wrists. Definitely not a first time cutter.

Cutter... The word just didn't feel right when talking about Percy. Our strong-willed cousin, most resilient friend, leader of the two camps and hero of Olympus, a cutter? It didn't make sense but the proof was right in front of me.

Percy opened his eyes and faced us. It was like meeting him all over again. His beautiful ocean green eyes were shattered. His normally lean frame was scrawny, and I was sure if we saw underneath his hoodie, ribs would be protruding and obvious. His parlor was pale and sickly. His left wrist was raw and bleeding. His right wrist had many many white lines across them. He wasn't really the Percy that we knew all along. And if we had known that he was fighting a losing battle with depression, I was pretty sure no one would have expected as much from him.

"Fuck," Percy muttered, reaching out to touch me. "You're real. Are you?"

His fingers brushed over my skin and I frowned at how chilly they were. I grasped them, then pulled Percy close into an embrace, Thalia joining in.

"Percy..." I whispered, rubbing his back and feeling every one of his ribs.

"Kelpie..." Thalia murmured. "Did you know everyone's worried about you?"

Percy nodded and pulled back from the embrace, leaving me with a strange sort of emptiness. "Yeah, that's why I left. I didn't want to bother or worry them."

Thalia and I sighed simultaneously.

"You don't bother them," Thalia countered.

"If anything, you worried them even more by disappearing," I added.

Percy sighed sheepishly, a dusting of red on his pale cheeks.

"Now what was that? Cu-cutting, Percy?" Thalia asked shakily.

Percy turned away, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled.

"Any other places? How many cuts?" I asked, using my finger to tilt his head towards us. "Please, we need to know. If you don't tell us, we'll find out regardless."

Percy sighed and looked away again, mumbling something under his breath.

"What was that?" Thalia asked.

Another series of mumbles.

"Speak up, Perce," I urged.

"Thighs, hips and stomach. Ten a day for roughly three and a half months."

That would be... a thousand plus cuts...

My stomach lurched. Thalia looked just as uncomfortable.

"Percy..." Thalia spoke softly, cautiously.

Percy looked away, hood of his hoodie shielding his eyes. His hands were shoved inside his hoodie's pockets and he was slouched in on himself.

"Percy."

Thalia's words were barely a whisper now.

Percy fidgeted, keeping his eyes pointedly diverted from all of us.

"Oh Percy," I whispered, taking him into an embrace again, Thalia following suit.

Percy froze there for an agonizingly long moment and I was starting to think that he was going to push us off. Then, he melted into our embrace and Thalia and I exchanged a small smile.

One little success to celebrate at a time.

* * *

 **Word Count: 2101 words**

* * *

 _(A/N: And I swore to myself I wouldn't write this until I finished Facades... *sighs* Just... Okay, the humour-PJO idea is gonna take a long time [so much research, I almost can't stand it] but I'll get it out... some day... I almost forgot about See Me For Me. Its just gonna be a two-shot. Next year, I add the next chapter. Maybe as a new-year's present? Hehe. Then, [ohmygods] the last project for the new fandom... I'm not even halfway through the first book (its meant to be a summary of the books in an alternate reality in a one-shot) and its... 4000 words long. *sighs* Well, it better be worth it. It shouldn't be half bad, that one-shot. I've confirmed what it is, but it'll be pretty secretive. Heh._

 _Peace out!  
Summer)_


	3. Thalia l 03

"Why do you self harm?" Nico questioned cautiously, bandaging the offending wounds.

Percy glanced at his scars and up again.

"The human skin can be hard to live in," he replied, as if that answered everything.

Nico nodded, understanding, but I sent a questioning glance at Percy, who then continued. "That's why I tear it open; to fix it."

I had to hold back my tears at that.

* * *

Everyone else came not too long after that, claiming they were worried after the three of us didn't come down after an hour and a half. Had it really been that long? Fortunately, by then, we had cleaned up the blood stains and attempted to heal Percy's open wounds. Water, nectar and ambrosia wouldn't work as well because they were self-harm marks, sadly. Something complicated about how he willingly inflicted pain on himself and none of those that would usually heal him quicker would not work because he wanted the hurt? We had to bandage them and attempt to heal them using mortal means.

Well, later, when everyone came in, it started off awkward.

"Hey," Percy smiled sheepishly at the others.

There was an awkward silence here until Annabeth stepped forward.

"Hey?" She questioned, and Percy nodded. "After so long of disappearing, hey?"

She smacked Percy's head upside and I was going to stop her, when she caught Percy in an embrace.

"I was so worried, Seaweed Brain…" She whispered.

Percy smiled, but looking closer, his eyes showed his hurt at what she had said. …Why?

I didn't get the opportunity to ask more, find out or anything the, since Percy distracted us with making the shapes he'd been making when Nico and I went in. Although I had to admit, those figures looked extremely detailed and familiar. …Was that a figurine of Jason?

* * *

"Bye guys!" Percy grinned, waving us all off, before freezing in place. "Wait!"

He escaped back inside his apartment and tugged out little identical statues, more specifically, ones of all ten of us, then he handed us each one. "For you."

"Thank you Kelpie," I teased.

"Welcome Pinecone Face!" He grinned widely.

"When did you make these?" Hazel asked, tracing the edges of the statues with admiration in her eyes.

"It really wasn't that difficult," Percy shrugged. "I control water, see. So I froze water in these shapes, granted, it was tiring, mind you, but I decided, that since any one of us could be reaching the end of our days soon, we need something to remind us of each other."

"That was… sweet…" Reyna admitted grudgingly.

* * *

All the demigods (Percy excluded) left the Jackson-Blofis household contentedly and we were pretty much halfway back to camp when Nico seemed to have an epiphany of sorts and started cursing in a multitude of languages. Okay, I guess it was Italian and only Italian but… my point?

"Nico?" I asked, prodding his side.

" _Idiota ciec_ \- Hey! Not there Thals!" Nico groaned.

"Not blind," Leo told Nico. "Not an idiot either."

"You've been learning Italian?" Piper asked incredulously.

Leo rolled his eyes. "No. Spanish and Italian actually sound quite similar. …really really similar."

"But… you see Thals? He managed to divert our attention from the main point by subtly pointing out trivial stuff, like an expert would do. He's practiced at this and about anything we try to involve the others in would result the same!" Nico complained, and I understood almost immediately, resisting the urge to smack my head against a wall.

Everyone else looked at us in confusion as we took out our little bits of frustrations at ourselves on ourselves.

"We're heading back," I declared. "And we're not leaving till we get what we need."

"Um… Sorry to burst your bubble Thalia, Nico," Annabeth interrupted. "I need to go back to camp. There's a lot of things to do back there, and we all know that Percy is kinda out of commission."

"And we need to get back to Camp Jupiter," Hazel added, gesturing to herself and the two praetors.

"Fair enough," Nico said impassively.

* * *

"What's wrong with Percy?" Leo growled animalistically the moment the others were out of sight, pinning Nico to the closest wall by the scruff. "Don't try to shadow travel your way out of this, son of Hades."

"Leo's right, although he can be a pain in the ass at times, but he's right this time," Jason snarled, having pinned his younger older sister - me! - to the wall by both shoulders as well. "What is wrong with our bro?"

"His smile is fake and its clear."

"He looked in pain."

"He's broken."

"And he doesn't seem to want to live anymore."

Nico and I exchanged a glance (or two, or three) that clearly said "fuck, why didn't we think of that?"

"No time to explain," I edged on quickly, throwing Jason off. "Nico, shadow travel us."

Nico nodded firmly as Leo let go of him, sensing the urgency. "Link hands guys."

We were barely able to grab onto each other before we were whisked away by dark and cold shadows.

* * *

The scene we shadow travelled in upon wasn't really the best for our already upset stomachs. Leo flat out puked out of the nearest window he could rush to.

Percy lay there on his bed, one of his arms hanging off the bed limply, blood flowing down and out of an open wound through that one. In his other hand, above his chest but fortunately not stabbed through it, lay a bloody Celestial Bronze sword - Riptide. A pool of blood lay on the floor and his bed sheets were stained with it too.

"Water! Medics! HELP!" I screamed at the stunned boys, crouching down next to Percy, balling up one of the blankets to cover his bleeding wound, which soaked through almost immediately. "Gods damn it all! No! You're not going to die on me, Kelp Head!" Then softer, in more of a whisper. "Why did you try to off yourself anyway, Kelp Head?"

His sea green eyes creeped open slightly, glinting with a sadness that seemed just too appropriate for everything. "You all told me to be happy. Let me be happy."

His words shot pangs through my heart, and I could almost feel it drop. It plummeted to the depths of the Underworld when his eyes fluttered close and didn't open again. "NO!"

Jason wisely decided to rush off to the toilet to collect a bucket of water, and Nico took it upon himself to shadow travel to get a bucket of sea water, hoping that it would have a better effect on our kelp headed cousin, his father being the god of the seas and not the god of all water after all. Leo cleaned up himself quickly, then took the blanket from me, tying it above the wound, then gesturing for another to cover the wound temporarily. I handed it to him eagerly, trusting the Latino and not wanting to feel quite so useless.

"Why's he like this?" Jason whispered once the wounded arm was successfully placed inside the half-bucket of sea water topped up with normal water and on its way to healing completely.

"No idea…" Nico murmured, half on his way to falling asleep from power exhaustion.

"Sleep, Neeks," I hummed, stroking the younger-older boy until he fell asleep.

Turning back to the older-younger boys, I answered Jason's earlier question as best as I could. "Just now when I asked him why he tried to… you know… off himself, he barely answered, but it was something like how we wanted him to be happy, and so he tried to make himself happy."

Leo and Jason exchanged worried looks.

* * *

Nico woke the three of us up. (I didn't even notice we fell asleep!)

"You wear too much black," I deadpanned to Nico sleepily.

"What was that?" Nico asked, faking innocence. "All I heard is that I look great. Is that true?"

"No," I replied cheekily, my voice revealing none of the amusement, successfully blocking the traces.

"Yes?" Nico grinned. "Thanks a lot."

Jason and Leo were wide awake and laughing by the end of our conversation, and I finally let the smile that was itching to come out creep on my face. We successfully lightened the dull mood.

…At least for a little while.

* * *

 **Word Count: 1394 words**

* * *

 _(A/N: A little shorter compared to the rest of the chapters hmm... I have no idea how to prolong this. Ha. And I never knew hearing the words being read aloud could be so triggering. Is it a reasonable warning? "Not for bedtime stories"?  
_

 _Peace,  
Summer-Moon)_


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